Wednesday, September 23, 2015

See you in 18!

Friends!

For the next 18 months I will be serving as a missionary in the beautiful state of Pennsylvania.

To reach me, send me an email at brianna.bartlett@myldsmail.net

My weekly letters will be posted on another blog: sisterbriannabartlett.blogspot.com so check it out to stay updated!

HURRAH FOR ISRAEL!!

Lots of love,
Sister Bartlett

Saturday, September 19, 2015

one last hurrah

Before I head on my mission, we decided to take a trip to Orlando, Florida to go to Disney World and some other things that make Florida so fun. 

Red eye flight...fun to start out with, but the morning and following day was a little rough...;)

First stop: Kennedy Space Center





We stopped at the Orlando temple to do some baptisms--such a wonderful temple!!


Hollywood Studios

MR. GOLD. Yes THE Mr. Gold from Once Upon A Time!!!!!! I WAS DYING.

Production of Beauty and the Beast...probably even more magical was watching the little girl in front of us through it all. ;)

Animal Kingdom

African Safari--SUPER awesome
Their tree of Life--an amazing sight to behold!

The Lion King. All I can say is, WOW.
Downtown Disney



Epcot


Ice cream in France...what more could you want?

Mexican market with my mama
Magic Kingdom

Got to eat in Belle's castle . . . it was more than magical!






Take notice of the boys in back...see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil...:)
TANGLED in real life!! I was in heaven.



Disney princess parade =  A MUST




A day at Coco Beach






Thanks for stopping by! Have the best day!!











Thursday, July 23, 2015

The Time I Stopped Writing My Missionary

It was an exciting time. First year of college, and I looked forward to the months ahead of embracing life on my own, and being in touch with a certain missionary through written letters and emails. Each week I held my breath in anticipation, hardly being able to wait for Monday morning to come along with the email from him that would brighten my week. If a little white envelope also happened to make its way into my mailbox, the week was even better.

Several months of this went by, and then suddenly one day, everything changed.

On Monday, January 6th, he (my missionary) sent me an email which wasn't like any of the others. He told me he had been feeling that he needed to be more focused on his mission and his purpose as a missionary. He said he felt that part of that meant leaving his affairs back home alone. He said he didn't know exactly what to do, but wanted my input on what I thought would be best for us.

I did a double take. What is he saying? What does this mean? No. It can't be. My mind began jumping to conclusions and a feeling of panic began to creep in. It felt like 20 pounds of bricks had suddenly been placed on my chest and it was hard to breathe. Questions and doubts began to swirl around in my mind and I felt confused and afraid.

Unable to process what I had just read, I had no other choice but to stumble through the rest of my day. For the next several hours, I couldn't focus as my thoughts drifted back to that email again and again.

It didn't really hit until I got back to my apartment later that evening. Bursting with excitement, my roommate squealed, "Guess who got a letter?!" It was in that precise moment I burst into tears. It hit me--that little white envelope would possibly hold the last letter I would read from him in a long time.

I was at a loss for words as my roommate held me and I continued to cry. Once I got my bearings together, I told her everything. She had recently gone through a break-up, so she knew to an extent what these emotions felt like.

I was confused. I was in disbelief. I was upset. I was torn. I was heartbroken.

These emotions were the beginning of a very, very difficult week. I knew I would get another email from him the following Monday, and I felt a sense of urgency to respond. But I didn't know how. I didn't know how, but I couldn't just sit still. Discouraged and confused, I turned to my Father in Heaven--both in prayer and through His words in the scriptures. Some comfort was found there, but the walls around my heart fought tirelessly to block out any help that was extended.

The day following the initial email, I sat down and opened my scriptures. I read and poured my heart out in prayer, desperately searching for an answer. Not knowing if the answer would come, and fearing what the answer might be, I sought an answer nonetheless.

After some time, it came.

"You need to stop writing him."

I stopped. My heart sank. Then it came again.

"You need to stop writing him."

My heart felt as if it had been instantly shattered. The answer came with gentle force and the tears welling up in my troubled eyes began to spill over. This is my answer? Why? How? Why now?

I was torn into pieces. In the days following the reveal of this answer were some of the hardest of my life. I was truly heartbroken. I loved him and I loved the Lord, but in my hardest of hearts wondered if this was asking too much.

But the more I poured out my heart in prayer, the more I asked, the more I thought about it, the more I wrestled with my own wants and desires, the more I knew it was the right decision. We needed to stop writing so he could focus much more on his mission.

Knowing it was the Lord's will didn't necessarily make it easier. I knew it would be a test of my strength, my obedience, my diligence, my love for him and my love for the Lord. But I knew we had to do it.

Shortly thereafter, I had the feeling that it would be okay to reach out and contact him every once in a while--like I would with other friends as they serve their missions. This eased the burden ever so slightly, but with a heavy heart, I knew this would still be one of the hardest decisions I would have to make and follow through with. I had no choice but to go forward, doing my best to have faith in this course correction that I never would have seen coming.

After painfully writing, rewording, and rewriting the hardest email I have ever had to compose, I was reluctant and anxious to hear how he would react to what I felt we should do.

I breathed the biggest sigh of relief when his response came back--nothing but acceptance and he embraced the decision completely. He told me he knew in his heart that this would be a test, but that afterwards we would both come out greater because of it. He felt he knew we would be blessed through our obedience to these promptings. I was grateful for the confirmation he received that this was the best decision, but my heart was still very heavy.

The next several months would prove to be a test of my willpower, my strength, and my obedience. At times under a pressure that left me feeling I would crumble. Time after time I have been tempted to disregard all I have felt to fall back on my own selfish wants and desires...but the Lord has helped me to restrain and to see a little bit more of the bigger picture.

Seeing it as my only option, I did the best I could to willingly take this leap of faith, and although faith doesn't make things easy, faith makes things possible . . . so I went forward.


*     *    *

Now, here I am, seven months later. I have finished my first year of college, and received a call to serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the state of Pennsylvania. Looking back, I don't have regrets. There were (and still are) times I wish I could email him to tell him everything. But I knew that wasn't part of the plan.


Though it seems impossible, somehow, deep down in my soul that still aches over this at times, I have a feeling that I will be grateful for this in the long run. I hope that I will be grateful and that he will be grateful too, whatever happens down the road. Most importantly, I take comfort in the knowledge that he and I were obedient specifically to what the Lord asked us to do...no matter how hard it has been.

*     *     *

I have learned a lot from this trial, but I don't want to sugar-coat it. The fact of the matter is that I miss him. A lot. Despite the clearer perspective I have gained, there are often moments, hours, and days where the heartache I feel is nearly impossible to bear. I still ask God why and wonder if it will be worth it in the end. I wish so badly I could see the future and see how this all pans out, but I can't. And it's a hard reality for me to accept. God has made this burden easier to bear, but the pain still surfaces and it is very real. Some days are better than others, but deep down I wish for the way it was before because I didn't feel the pain then that I do now. I get caught in these ruts and it is hard to be pulled out of them. But the Lord sends clear messages and light into my life that lifts me up and help me to press forward. The reality of my Savior through this is undeniable, but it doesn't mean that I am immune to hard days.

Opening up and sharing this experience has been eye-opening for me. I realize I have come a long way from the girl who read that email and was heartbroken. I know that for me, this experience is one my Father in Heaven is using to shape and mold me into something greater. And that growing has consisted of a lot of uncomfortable and painful stretching. 
I don't see the progress, but I know somehow He does. And I take great comfort in knowing that He believes I am worth refining.

One of the biggest things I have (re-)learned from all of this is that the Lord often asks us to do really hard things. Hard, difficult, soul-wrenching trials that seem unreachable, unconquerable, and seemingly impossible to overcome. But I am proof that no matter how impossible it may seem, nothing is impossible with the Lord. He is there always. In moments of purest bliss to moments of shattered heartbreak. He is there. His path is greater, higher, and more beautiful than we ever could have imagined, but it's up to us to take that first leap of faith.

I don't know what the future holds. But I do know my Father's plan is greater than any plans I could ever make for myself. I have seen that time and time again in my life and would never be able to deny that I know it to be true. I know my life is in His hands and whatever happens in the end is exactly how it is meant to be. I don't know exactly how it will be worth it, but I am doing my best to have faith in this plan that has been brought before me. My natural instincts do not want to solely rely on this trust or this faith, but I am doing my best to submit my will to the Lord, having faith that His plan will help me become who I am destined to become.

Amidst the heartache, I can't deny the blessings I have seen poured out in my life as I have obeyed the voice of the Lord. I testify that as your will is swallowed up in His, He will help you to feel joy, peace, and comfort, in whatever trial you are facing. At times it may feel that the light will never come--but it does. His strength is extended and it is what you have to rely on, and as you do, you will come out better and stronger than you were before.

Maybe you have gone through something like this. Maybe you haven't. Maybe you will one day. Maybe you won't. Whatever the case may be, I hope you are able to learn or take away something from my experience.

If you find yourself in a situation like mine, or a completely different circumstance in which the Lord asks you to do something hard for Him, I hope you never let go of your love for Him and your willingness to obey His will, no matter how impossible it seems. Though it will possibly be the hardest thing you have ever done, heavenly help will be extended to you that will enable you to endure. And it will be worth it. God has a plan and He knows you and your heart.

Love, Bri | xoxo


For some humor, go check out The 7 Stages of Waiting for a Missionary!
. . . . whether you're waiting for a missionary or not . . . . each one is hilarious.
(Plus this picture will make a lot more sense if you do ;))



Monday, July 13, 2015

The Call to Serve

I believe my final decision to serve a mission traces back to almost two years ago.

Ever since the beginning of my teenage years, I have talked about serving a mission. I had the desire to, but 21 seemed so far away and I didn't know what would happen from that time until I turned 21. Then the age change happened, which opened up the possibility to serve at 19. I felt that this was much more reachable and a much more reasonable goal. I felt like it was what I needed to do, but I knew that I also needed to be in tune and willing to follow God's plan for me.

Then I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. All the events surrounding that time are blurred in my mind. The pain I felt and experienced has been taken away thanks to my Savior. I still have memories of what a difficult time that was, but I truly have been healed.

After coming out of my surgery and healing wonderfully, I came to realize my life had been spared. I knew the gravity of the possibility that I wouldn't have made it...and yet a loving God chose to save me instead.

This is when I began to see a little bit more of the bigger picture. My life was not my own--it belonged to God. He was the One really in charge. He had saved me for some purpose--a purpose that I will strive the rest of my days to fulfill. My feelings towards hoping to serve a mission changed. I felt that it wasn't just something I wanted to do... it was something God needed me to do. So I went forward.

Filling out my mission papers and waiting for my mission call taught me some patience. It wasn't easy to wait, especially being the last out of several of my friends to receive her call.

But it finally came. And what a beautiful moment it was. Surrounded by dear family and friends, I opened my mission call that would tell me where I would be serving the Lord for 18 months of my life.

I was somewhat of a mess, because I could hardly believe this day had finally come, but I made it through, barely choking out the words on that one sheet of paper.



*    *    *

There ya have it, folks! I have been called to serve in Pennsylvania Pittsburgh mission. I am so very excited! I also am so happy and feel incredibly grateful and blessed. For some reason that's where the Lord needs me, and that is where I will happily go.

I have only begun to catch a glimpse of what I am signing up for. But I take great comfort knowing that I am not alone in this endeavor. I have a Father in Heaven and Savior who will be with me every step of the way. As I strive to become the missionary They need me to become, blessings will flow.

I am so very humbled to have received this call to serve. I can't even imagine how much the people of Pennsylvania will bless my life as I strive to serve them to the best of my ability. I know I will learn a lot from them, and a lot about myself. I know I will come to know more about my Savior and come to personally know Him.

I don't know exactly what my mission has in store, but I know it is exactly what the Lord needs me to be doing at this point in my life.

I know this gospel is true. I know it with every fiber of my being--if I didn't, I would not be agreeing to serve this mission.

God's love is real and it is available to each and every one of us! His light is what gives me hope each and every day, and the strength that comes from His atonement is what enables me to endure the adversities of life. I truly love this gospel with all of my heart and can't wait to share it with God's precious children in Pennsylvania!!

Thanks for reading!

Bri // xoxo

Friday, July 3, 2015

Miraculous

Wow! Sorry for disappearing off the face of the earth. I promise I'm alive and doing great. ;)

I feel beyond blessed I was able to work with my friend Beth + her amazing photography skills (Check out Beth Knight Photography to see more of her talent in action) to make this video. I am so grateful she was so willing to take the time to capture all of this and portray it is such a beautiful way.

I am also so grateful for the miracles I've seen in my own life and the miracles I continue to see. Also: unbelievably and undeniably grateful that I am still here today.

I would humbly describe my experience in one word: miraculous.


Saturday, April 4, 2015

Half of My Heart

Half of my heart is here.
Half of my heart is missing.
Half of my soul is gone.
A feeling of complete incompleteness.
Little did I know how you would take half of me with you when you left.
But even without you here I'm falling each and every day.
Farther and harder than the day before.
I didn't know distance could have so little impact.
And at the same time weigh so much on your soul.
I set out, started out, determined to be strong.
But strength turns to weakness when you miss someone so much.
The longing, the aching is always there.
Sometimes I feel it more than others.
You're always on my mind.
Sometimes at the forefront,
sometimes in the background,
and sometimes somewhere in between.
I think of you.
In the songs on the radio.
In the night sky.
In the movies I watch.
In the long drives I take.
In the places I go.
I wish you were here.
I wish I could see your smile.
And hear your laugh.
I wish I could talk to you--tell you everything.
Hear your voice, your words.
The sound of your fingers on your guitar strings.
The sound of your footsteps on the pavement.
Hear how you are doing from your own mouth, in your own voice.
Hearing through other people just isn't the same.
Amidst all the longing, I know you couldn't be in a better place.
You are doing exactly what God needs you to be doing.
But missing you is one of the more painful things in my life.
I know I have to go on.
The journey has only begun.
I will continue to wish
but with a reassurance that I will see you again.
It will just take some time.
So for now I'll pick up the pieces
and try to survive
with half of my heart.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Christ Lives!

I testify that Christ lives. He lives, I know it with every fiber of my soul. One of my favorite hymns accurately describes my testimony of Christ:


He lives! All glory to his name!
He lives, my Savior, still the same,
Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:
"I know that my Redeemer lives!"
(lyrics by Samuel Medley)

He lives. He lives and He is ever present and aware in my life. I know He lives because I see His hand guiding my every single day.

Because He Lives...




I witness the reality and divinity of our Eternal Father, of His Only Begotten Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, and of the Holy Ghost. I testify that our Father hears and answers our prayers. May each of us strive with greater resolve to ask in faith and thereby make our prayers truly meaningful.— David A. Bednar

I know that God is our Father. He introduced His Son, Jesus Christ, to Joseph Smith. I declare to you that I know that Jesus is the Christ. I know that He lives. He was born in the meridian of time. He taught His gospel and was tried. He suffered and was crucified and resurrected on the third day. He, like His Father, has a body of flesh and bone. He made His Atonement. Of Him I bear witness. Of Him I am a witness. — Boyd K. Packer

I testify of the renewing power of God’s love and the miracle of His grace. His concern is for the faith at which you finally arrive, not the hour of the day in which you got there. — Jeffrey R. Holland

I want to add my testimony to that of these apostles of the Lord. I know that my Savior Jesus Christ lives. I know that He came to this earth and lived a perfect life. He lived the perfect life and is the perfect example. He performed miracles and He still performs miracles today. I know that in the Garden of Gethsemane He suffered for my sins--every single pain and heartache and weakness I would every experience in this life. I know that He hung on the cross for me and He gave His life for me. I also know that He not only did it for me, but He did it for you. He did it for you, and every single person that has ever lived or will ever live on the earth. I know that on the third day He rose again, which was the greatest miracle of all. I know that because of Him and His Atonement I can overcome everything in this life, I can be healed, I can repent and be forgiven, and I can return to live with Him someday. I also know that through the power of His Atonement, I can become like Him, which is the thing I look forward to the most. He is my Savior, my Redeemer. He is my Best Friend, He is my King. He is my Brother, and my Shepherd. He is my everything.



"Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives: "I know that My Redeemer Lives!'" 

Christ Invites

I truly believe that the Book of Mormon itself is an invitation.

An invitation to come unto Christ.

Moroni 7:13 states,

"But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God."

From this we learn that anything in this life that invites or inspires us to do good, is of God.

The following are the words of the prophet Moroni, but I believe it was absolutely inspired of him to write the following invitation, one that I would guess came from Christ through Moroni:

3 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.
4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.
5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.
(Moroni 10:3-5)

This invitation is open to all who read this holy book--the Book of Mormon. I testify that if you will read it, and pray to Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ, and ask if this book is true, the Holy Ghost will witness it unto you and you will know for yourself.

This next verse is among the very last in the Book of Mormon. I believe it states the central invitation for the Book of Mormon as a whole: Come unto Christ.

Moroni 10:32

"Yeah, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God."


I invite you once again to acknowledge this invitation and partake of it. And in so doing . . .

Come Unto Christ.

PC: https://teachhisdoctrine.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/come-unto-christ1.jpeg